New Query Letter

 This is my newest query letter after using the suggestions from Mr. Sambuchino. I think this is much better than the last one and hopefully will get an agent or publisher interested in my manuscript.

Dear <Name>:

RAGGED EDGE: CRY OF THE PHOENIX is an 85,000-word manuscript that falls within the Sci-Fi/Fantasy genre. A supernatural thriller it’s similar to The Dresden Files meets Indiana Jones.

In 360 B.C. Plato described a rich and powerful land called Atlantis. 3,600 years ago the volcano at the center of Atlantis experienced a cataclysmic eruption. The island and civilization of Atlantis were believed destroyed and passed into myth, but what about the inhabitants of Atlantis?

Alongside our reality exists another, separate reality. A reality in which the things that go bump in the night can, and will, happily rip your face off. Where vampires, werewolves, mythical Gods, and other creatures are common place. The majority of the human race remains blissfully unaware of the evil continually threatening their existence. They are protected by the Atlanteans, armed with the ability to change forms and manipulate the elements, who walk the ragged edges where the supernatural and the natural collide. Throughout the centuries they have lived among us, guarding and guiding the human race.

RAGGED EDGE is the story of Sean Gryphon. A 700-year-old Atlantean, Sean finds his job as a Junior Guardian, protecting humans from mid-level supernatural threats, to be tedious and unnecessary. His mentor, Darius, comes to him with a mission and the threat of death if the mission fails. The mission is to protect an Archeologist, Dr. Ilsy Hillerman, a human with a supernatural secret of her own, and the mysterious stone tablet she uncovered on her most recent dig. Sean is pissed and determined to do the bare minimum to succeed.

Viewing the mission as a simple babysitting job, Sean finds himself unprepared for the harsh reality that quickly smacks him in the face. He is immediately attacked by some of the worst creatures ever encountered in his seven hundred years, discovers unfortunate family secrets and catches the eye of the ancient Celtic Goddess Danu. In his quest to protect Ilsy, and translate the ancient tablet, he reconnects with his estranged grandfather, runs afoul of his insane mother, and unconvers a secret Darius strove to keep hidden for centuries. In the end, Sean realizes that sometimes, there are some things more important than his life.

CRY OF THE PHOENIX is the first of the RAGGED EDGE CHRONICLES. I’m an avid reader of mythology, horror, and mystery novels and have spent the past ten years as a paranormal investigator. I’m also a father, a husband, and a bit of a weirdo. I’m not a “licking peanut butter off the windows” weirdo, just a “make funny faces at myself in the mirror for a laugh” type weirdo.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Dustyn McCormick