Ramblings

So it's been a fairly long time since I've had anything to post. Normally I post about writing and trying to help any of you readers with your own careers or amuse you with my own stories. Sometimes it's merely to attempt a figuratively cathartic experience of banging my head against a wall to relieve stress and try to improve my mood and outlook.

Sorry to say this post will have very little to do with writing. Though for those that are keeping track I'm currently at 43 rejections. I'm not getting as many form rejections since I reworked my query letter, though I'm also not getting much usable advice from the personal notes. Still, it's looking up I guess.

No this post is more along the lines of a personal journal entry. If you don't care then feel free to leave now and wait for the next post. If you do care then I guess I don't have to tell you to keep reading so I won't.

See I'm a fairly open person. I accept almost anyone and anything. If something you do makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone then do it. Somethings I feel very passionate about. Those things I will defend and advocate until my last breath. Normally this is actually not as dramatic as it may sound. Sometimes if I'm not in the mood to argue with someone I'll simply call them an idiot and walk away. Sometimes I'll argue until I'm blue in the face. 

The problem is my outlook frequently falls directly opposite that of my family. Again usually no big deal. If we have a small gathering we know to stay away from subjects of contention and peace is had by all. At bigger gatherings... well I become obligated to just keep my mouth shut.

The subjects most hotly contested are those of religion and marriage equality. I'm good with religion, if you want to believe some all powerful dude created the universe and everything in it, hey that's okay just don't expect me to believe it also. If you believe that there are a load of powerful gods and goddesses influencing the world and taking a role in your life, hey that's great, personally I'm inclined to agree somewhat. If you don't believe any of that, if you think we all happen to be here by random chance and this life is the end of it, then great if it makes you happy... sometimes I'm inclined to agree.

As for marriage equality. This subject is a bit personal.

You see I'm not gay. I'm in a happy heterosexual marriage, I have four children. I enjoy nothing more than making love with my wife in as many positions and ways as we can physically accomplish. What I'm saying here is that I like sex. I like porn, I like nude art. If you haven't figured it out, I'm a big fan of women. So why would marriage equality be important to me? What does it matter to me if gays are allowed to marry?

Well it boils down to friendship. I don't have many friends, I don't want many friends, and I don't need many friends. The friends I do have though are my family, not in a biological sense but no less real. 

One of my dearest friends is a gay man. I consider him one of my best friends. We don't talk often, in fact we have never even met in person, yet I would gladly put my life on the line for this man. He is the inspiration for one of the characters in my novel, for my favorite character in fact. He has been with his partner for a few years now, in their state they cannot get married. They've considered going somewhere else but they want their friends to be able to attend. I would gladly be among those friends. 

This friend is very talented, he has helped me through some spiritual bumps in my road, and he did the greatest kindness one can do for a writer (next to buying their books) he let me inside his life while doing research for the above mentioned character. He told me of being attracted to a boy as a child, his mother coming down hard on him because of it. I know of his trials and tribulations while coming to terms with that part of himself. I know of the difficulties he has had with his family and the problems they have caused for him and his partner, the important part is that I understand.

I understand that he has been persecuted for the way he was born. He is treated as a second class citizen and has to hope that one day people will decide to give him the same right that heterosexuals take for granted. I understand his pain, and I understand his love for his partner. I also understand that he makes some awesome soap... just not fast enough. 

What's the point?

The point is that I was wounded today. My family is predominately Christian. They are against gay marriage. There was a gathering today for my sister, she is home visiting for a week. I was forced to leave because the topic of conversation turned towards church and ridicule for gay marriage and non-believers. I have learned that the best way for me to face this is to leave the situation. If I become the lone voice of dissent then I become the enemy and tempers flare and feelings are hurt. So my wife and our kids left the gathering. My wife understands why, my kids didn't ask, for them it was just time to go home. 

I hate to say it but sometimes I wish that I were gay, just for the opportunity to force my family to take a more objective view of the situation. To make them decide if their love for me is more important than what they are told their bible tells them to think. Sometimes I think I would win in that situation, other times, I think I would be similar to so many people and be disowned. 

It hurts me that I kept my mouth shut, I feel as though I should have said something, I should have shown them their ignorance. I know though that it would've done no good. 

So this is my rant. This is me venting. I love my friend for so many reasons, he is really one of the best men I know and I hope he reads this. I'm never good at sharing my feelings and I've never told him how much he means to me. It is my hope that one day I will be able to go to his wedding, and see him join my wife and I in this thing called marriage. I hope that one day all of us, gay or straight, will be able to take for granted the right to marry the one we love. 

It is my hope that one day, we as a people understand that love is a more important force than any book, than any outdated belief. 

As I said before, I have four children. My children are very dear to me, I love them more than life itself. What do I think of their sexuality? I don't care. Gay or straight, if they are happy I will support them, I only fear they will have to face a world that discriminates against them for their choices. 

 

New... New Query letter.

So I've written another query letter with the help of Lauren Spieller. She was quite the life saver. So now for your viewing pleasure. My NEW... NEW query letter.

Dear Agent,

When an ancient stone tablet detailing the origin of vampires is discovered, Sean Gryphon, an immortal from Atlantis with the ability to change shapes, is commanded to protect the Archaeologist who found it. Sean accepts these orders with all the grace of an elephant on roller-skates, but the ruling council of Atlanteans haven’t given him much choice: either protect Dr. Ilsy Hillerman and prove his worth to the Atlantean race… or die. 

Sean arrives at the home of Dr. Hillerman only to find it besieged by werewolf-alligator hybrids, known as wolfengators. Thinking fast, Sean whisks Ilsy away to his cabin where they plunge into the mysteries of the tablet and each other. They believe the worst is over after a few weeks of hiding. That is, until the original vampire, Lord Kek, sends his forces to reclaim the tablet and Ilsy.

Overpowered and desperate to save the woman he’s fallen in love with Sean sacrifices his own life to destroy Lord Kek’s forces and rescue Ilsy. Luckily, the Celtic Goddess Danu is impressed by his efforts and offers him the chance to return to Ilsy if he undertakes a quest to destroy her most dangerous foe: a mysterious immortal cloaked in shadows, the true power behind Lord Kek.

Complete at 85,000 words, RAGGED EDGE: CRY OF THE PHOENIX, is a supernatural thriller with series potential in the vein of THE DRESDEN FILES and SALEM’S LOT.

 

For the past ten years, I have worked as a paranormal investigator and have given lectures around the state of Kansas on the supernatural. I enjoyed applying my research throughout this novel.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

Agent Wishlist.

I've thought a lot about what I want from an agent and the type of person I want to work with. This is the list I have so far.

1. Not just an agent but also a Friend. This is pretty important, I'm not comfortable with a lot of people and I don't have a generally trusting personality. So I want an agent that I can trust and that will become a Friend as well.
2. Someone that believes in my writing perhaps even more than I do. I believe that I am definitely my own worst critic. I need an agent that will help balance that out and stop me from destroying my work by over tweaking.
3. Someone that communicates freely. I'm not known for my patience, so I want someone that understands that I want to know what's going on. Even if it's just updates that we are still waiting to hear back from an editor.
4. I'd like a smartass agent. I'm a smartass and I tend to get along better with people that share the same tendencies. I have a dry, sarcastic, sense of humor. I want someone that can appreciate that.
5. Someone that understands that I would gladly meet each and every one of my fans personally. The problems is, I hope to have enough fans that this will never be possible. I want an agent that will help me keep from burning myself out. 
6. Someone that understands that I have a limited concept of time. If I say I'll do something in a week, I might mean a month or a day or two. At the same time if I say something happened a few days ago, it might have been a couple months ago. This is just one of my weird quarks. If I'm reminded I will definitely get something done on time though.
7. Someone that understands that I'm not interested in flying first class. If I have a promotional opportunity I'm perfectly willing to fly coach to get there. Or if it's within a days or two drive I'm happy to drive there. Along with this I don't care about staying in five star hotels. If it's at least one step above a roach motel, I'm happy staying there.
8. I want someone that can critique my work in ways I understand and is willing to explain it if I don't. 
9. Most importantly. I want someone that understands, as much as I love my fans, I love my family more. 

 That's basically it. If I could find an agent that fits this bill I would be one happy writer.  

What am I reading now?

I'm thinking of starting to do book reviews every now and then but first I think I'll talk about what I'm currently reading. So here is the list.

1. Road Kill - Rob Thurman - This one is taking me awhile to get through. It's mildly interesting but doesn't really grab me and I don't quite understand the world. I know this isn't the first of the series but a lot of what I've read doesn't actually make sense. Main Character is supposed to be a half human, half monster badass but he's scared of his brother that is a full human... doesn't quite synch up in my opinion.
2.  Driven to Distraction - Jeremy Clarckson - This one is pretty great. I'm not a car guy but I love the British Top Gear guys. This is a collection of article's he's written for a newspaper. Slightly out of date but damn it's hilarious.  

I'll probably be starting a Terry Pratchett book soon. I recently discovered his Discworld series and damn they are hilarious. They also made me start wondering why British writers are allowed to be completely absurd but American writers can't. The only conclusion I can come up with is that American writers take themselves too seriously.  I find this conclusion unsatisfactory and slightly depressing. I think I'm going to attempt writing absurd stories or books in the near future just for fun.

Also... I might be participating in a podcast soon. More details will follow.  

Oddly Optimistic

I'm not sure why but I'm feeling oddly optimistic right now. Sure I'm still waiting for any agent to request a partial, sure I believe I'm running out of agents to query, and sure I have no hard indication that I might get my novel accepted any time soon. 

That being said, I feel like something will happen soon and I keep watching my email for that to happen. Also watching my twitter feeds. I follow quite a few of the agents that I have queried and I keep hoping to see something about it there. It could happen... Right?

Not Much

Wow almost a whole week has gone by and I haven't posted anything. Sorry about that. Truth is there hasn't really been much going on. I live in Kansas and we weathered a nice winter storm, loads of snow. I've submitted to more agents bringing my total up to over 40, and I've sent an unagented submission in to a publisher just hoping for the best. That's basically it. I have become more active on twitter to a degree. 

So how have I been passing the dreaded waiting time? I had a friend help rearrange my living room, purchased a new television, and cleaned out a storage area in my house. All projects that make my wife happy, the television makes me happy, and they all rather effectively passed a few days. Not enough, but a few. Now to go back to dealing with the cold weather. At this point I almost want to be a great writer just so I can move south. 

Things to do while waiting.

Have you noticed that most of my posts talk about waiting? I keep reading that publishing is a marathon and not a sprint, I have to tell you, it is a marathon. A walking on legos barefoot marathon. 

So you've written your manuscript and you are ready to get published. Well take your shoes and socks off and take your first step on the burning hot pavement covered in legos. Hurts doesn't it? That's the feeling of finding out that maybe your manuscript isn't as good as you thought it was. 

Take your second step, no hopping on one foot here, still hurts doesn't it? The pain is a bit worse. That's the feeling of not having agents breaking down your door.

Do you get the point? So anyway, during this painful marathon (that you will remember fondly one day because lets face it, you're human and we easily gloss over the pain of reaching our goals) you have to find ways to keep yourself busy. How do you do that?

I've been filling my days with thinking about my next book and getting ready to start it. I've also taken on some home improvement projects that mostly involve throwing stuff away. You can take up another hobby, slowly bang your head against a wall, or take up drinking.

The reality is, I don't actually know. You'll spend a lot of time waiting and wondering if your work is good enough to get published, and you'll read other books and think that they aren't nearly as good as yours so why is it so hard to find a publisher? I assure you this is normal and all part of the long barefoot lego marathon of getting published. In the end though, it's worth it. You get to share your work with the world, feel the pride of seeing your book on shelves and maybe even meeting fans. So stick with and keep stepping on those legos, eventually your feet will go numb.