Agent Wishlist.

I've thought a lot about what I want from an agent and the type of person I want to work with. This is the list I have so far.

1. Not just an agent but also a Friend. This is pretty important, I'm not comfortable with a lot of people and I don't have a generally trusting personality. So I want an agent that I can trust and that will become a Friend as well.
2. Someone that believes in my writing perhaps even more than I do. I believe that I am definitely my own worst critic. I need an agent that will help balance that out and stop me from destroying my work by over tweaking.
3. Someone that communicates freely. I'm not known for my patience, so I want someone that understands that I want to know what's going on. Even if it's just updates that we are still waiting to hear back from an editor.
4. I'd like a smartass agent. I'm a smartass and I tend to get along better with people that share the same tendencies. I have a dry, sarcastic, sense of humor. I want someone that can appreciate that.
5. Someone that understands that I would gladly meet each and every one of my fans personally. The problems is, I hope to have enough fans that this will never be possible. I want an agent that will help me keep from burning myself out. 
6. Someone that understands that I have a limited concept of time. If I say I'll do something in a week, I might mean a month or a day or two. At the same time if I say something happened a few days ago, it might have been a couple months ago. This is just one of my weird quarks. If I'm reminded I will definitely get something done on time though.
7. Someone that understands that I'm not interested in flying first class. If I have a promotional opportunity I'm perfectly willing to fly coach to get there. Or if it's within a days or two drive I'm happy to drive there. Along with this I don't care about staying in five star hotels. If it's at least one step above a roach motel, I'm happy staying there.
8. I want someone that can critique my work in ways I understand and is willing to explain it if I don't. 
9. Most importantly. I want someone that understands, as much as I love my fans, I love my family more. 

 That's basically it. If I could find an agent that fits this bill I would be one happy writer.