Four Months

That's right my faithful friends. I have just four months give or take a few days... or weeks... I don't know I'm bad with time. Anyway just four months until I'm in New York trying to impress agents with my brilliance... or confuse them with my bullshit... doesn't really matter to me which works as long as I get an agent... or a contract from an editor... I'm really not picky.

The thing is I'm a bit of an over thinker. So in my head I've already gone over everything that can go wrong, everything that can go right, everything that can seem like it's wrong but is actually right, everything that seems right but is actually wrong, and of course everything that is just okay.

Yes I've pictured myself returning home victorious with an agent eagerly reading my book then hounding editors nonstop to get published, or coming home utterly defeated and questioning my commitment to writing, or coming home anticipating acceptance or rejection, and of course not making it home because the plane has vanished into an alternate dimension like in Stephen King's book "The Langoliers".

I admit that last one isn't very likely but I like to never rule anything out.

This brings me to the problem of being an over thinker and having a countdown to a potentially life altering event. All possibilities get covered and my mind works so furiously on discovering and preparing for any eventuality that I forget to enjoy the present, I forget to start working on my next novel... working title of "Dragon Song" (it's gonna be totally awesome) and forget that four months is both a long and short time.

So what have I been doing to prepare? Well I've been agonizing over whether or not my pitch is good enough. I have a huge fear of public speaking, I'm good at it but it terrifies me and while I always prepare in advance I also always end up just winging it. I've also started stalking every agent that I hope to pitch to. 

It's not all work though. Of course not, all work and no play makes Dustyn a dull boy... or at least irritating as hell with nonstop talking about all of the aforementioned possibilities. So I'm researching agents, and almost as importantly, I'm looking for Irish Pubs near the hotel because well... I'll be in New York, I have Irish roots, how could I not make it a point to at least hit a few Irish pubs in the short time I have?

So dear readers. If any of you are from New York do me a favor and leave comments on your favorite pubs that are near The Roosevelt hotel. Preferably in easy walking distance. My hope is that I can meet an agent, hit it off, and we can work out a deal over drinks listening to awesome Irish music and commiserate the next morning about how much we drank and forever have a funny shared story about staggering back to the hotel and barely being able to find our rooms... alternatively I suppose it's equally possible that we'd get into a drunken argument over the respective impacts of Poe, King, and Lovecraft on the horror genre as we know it and whether or not Twilight has forever ruined the use of vampires in modern fiction, punches will be thrown and stories about me will circulate through agent circles forever preventing me from succeeding as an author in a traditional publishing scenario... or something like that.

Anyway... New York, Irish Pubs, Roosevelt Hotel... Go.

Adjusting to days

So my move from night shift to day shift has come and gone. I'm in the middle of my second week of days. Here is what I have learned.

1. Adjusting my body clock is a bit more difficult than expected. First weeks went fine... so far the second week has seen me going to sleep and waking up at whatever time my body wants unless the alarm wakes me up first.

2. Letting go of night shift is hard. On nights I was by myself, large and in charge... now I'm just a peon... that's not the worst bit though. No the worst bit is that I made many friends of my night customers. Some even have my phone number... they are not happy with my replacement whom I am told has taken to wearing ear buds while helping customers.

3. I still don't like higher ups. They annoy me and slow down the entire work process.

4. Before the switch I had wild dreams of immediately starting work on my next book while continuing to work on publishing the first... I haven't written a damn thing thanks to the screwy sleeping schedule.

5. I'm not sure I like being a daywalker. Or rather. I like it, but I wish my day shift work was similar to my night shift work.

6. Not a fan of coworkers. It's not that I don't like them as people, it's that... with a few exceptions... I don't like having them at work with me. I liked working alone where the only coworker that could irritate me was... well me.

Good lessons I guess. I'm hoping the internal clock will adjust soon and maybe I can get to work writing by next week. With luck.

I failed

So I failed. I think it's been a couple weeks since I've made a post. I've been uber busy with my regular job and finally got switched to day shift. After a couple days I haven't quite gotten use to it yet so I'm also waiting on my body to adjust to the new sleeping schedule.

The upside is that once I'm adjusted I can get back to a writing schedule that works for me and that will definitely help me get published sooner. Until then it's just keep coping the best I can until my body adjusts to the fact that I'm a day walker now.

So really that's it. Sorry I don't have more to say after a couple weeks. Hopefully soon I'll have more but for now enjoy your evening, morning, or night whatever it is for you.

Did I forget or just do this late

Not sure how well this will work since I'm updating from my phone. Not that I'm at work or anything... in fact I'm currently laying in bed next to my wife... (she is also laying next to me, unlike me however, she is snoring.)

I'm not sure if I should apologize for missing a post last week or if I should say that this post counts as last week's since technically it is Sunday night... but then it's also Monday morning.

We'll anyway. Couple of quick updates. Let's see... soon I will be off night shifts. I know I've said this before but now it's actually just a couple weeks away. Then I get to become a day walker again and I get to use my creative peak period for... well being creative.

I've also decided that I no longer consider myself a horror writer... I'm thinking more along the lines of being a fantasy writer. Couple of reasons for this. As my good friend, and talented artist (I'm somewhat kissing up here because I want him to do illustrations for my self published short story compilation. Shhhh.) Allen Childers (look him up at SpellHawks Press on facebook... lots of great artists there) told me, when I write horror it comes out feeling forced.

He's right, it does. Not sure why though, you would think that someone who reads a load of horror, loves horror movies, and was a paranormal investigator long enough to ruin any enjoyment I get out of horror movies supposedly "based on a true story" (Seriously movies like The Amityville Horror, and The Conjuring mostly just piss me off due to both cases being hoaxes... I'll save that rant though) that I should be good with horror.

I think though that due to my time within the paranormal community I define scary a bit differently and I don't have the talent to write something that would scare me.

Reason number 2. I like Fantasy a little more. The rules are more fluid, I get to play with elves, fairies, Dragons (I can meddle in their affairs because I'm neither crunchy nor do I taste good with ketchup... I might taste good with mashed potatoes and some gravy but Dragons generally don't have the patience to make creamy mashed potatoes and a good gravy, just a little known fact for you) and if I don't like the way the land masses, laws, or physics work... then I can make my own.

Really there isn't much I enjoy more than giving the world the finger and making my own rules.

Also I have finally booked my flights to be in New York for the Writer's Digest Convention July 31st to August 2nd. So if you happen to read my blog, don't already know me personally (though you do know me pretty well since, in a weird way, you're in my bed right now) feel free to come say Hi, Hello, Howdy, or any variation thereof. Try to avoid heaping adoration on me (if you absolutely must then invite me to dinner and do it privately I'm a bit shy in public), on the flip side of that if you feel the strong desire to spew hate filled bile in my direction plea s e direct your attention to the nearest bathroom find an unoccupied toilet stick your head in it and flush.

That's really all I have for this week. Not sure how well updating in the wee hours works for me. I should also mention that I've taken a couple of pain pulls due to tweaking my back in a most heroic grocery shopping incident wherein I battled a nefarious bag of charcoal off a high shelf and out from under many of its closest allies that were conspiring to weigh it down. I would have grabbed the top bag except it was insidiously out of my reach and the well known store I was in refuses to have enough employees on shift to actually assist customers. Soo laying down hurts me, but I haven't perfected the art of sleeping while standing. Might have to ask a Centaur for help with that.

Okay so now you've been in my bed, seen me on pain medication, and could hopefully read this as I don't seem to be able to make font changes and such on my phone. May have to edit those in later.

Until next time, goodnight, or good morning, have a nice day... or night.

Rest in Peace Sir Terry Pratchett

I've been wanting to make this post since I first heard the news that Sir Terry Pratchett passed away. I just didn't know what to say.

I'm a big Terry Pratchett fan, won't claim to be the biggest, but I love the man's work. Even though I never had the chance to meet him I consider him a friend. This may seem odd but I consider all the author's I enjoy friends. Who but a friend can make you feel a wide range of emotions yet keep you coming back to them.

That being said when I first heard that Sir Terry had passed away though a facebook post by Neil Gaiman, I was stunned. I knew he was ill, I knew one day he would pass away, but knowing a thing is going to happen and having it actually happen are two different things.

I read his final four tweets, even in death he remained a story teller. I shed tears for this man I admired and never really knew. I would like to say that he was a great man, I'm sure his real friends would agree, sometimes I liked to think that if we ever met he would see something in me and my writing and take me under his wing as I struggled to get my fledgling writing career off the ground. That won't happen now, and I don't care.

What I do care about is that there will be no new adventures on that wonderful Disc World that he created. No more bumbling wizards to laugh at, strange magic to fear, corrupt politicians to hate and fear, and sometimes even admire. The Great A'Tuin has reached it's final destination, the elephants have passed away, and the disc has finished it's journey.

Death came and took Sir Terry long before his time. A man such as he deserved so much more time on this world for he had so much to give. I like to think that, like the death in his books, Death hesitated and didn't want to take his life. 

All that is left is his works, and that's really not a bad thing. We can always open one of his books and relive the stories he told, delight in his satire that so perfectly mirrored the world we live in and showed us the absurdity that much of life holds, if we were willing to look. 

Those precious books mean more now than ever, the denizens of his worlds will have no more new adventures, but in his books they live on, in his books he lives on. 

Sir Terry Pratchett's soul has left our world for one where he will be happiest, but his spirit stays with us in every word and every line of every book he wrote. Like a photograph of a loved one these books are but pale memories and little comfort but they are all we have left. 

Goodbye Sir Terry Pratchett, I will miss you. In my mind the streets of Ankh-Morpork are now empty, the gates to Unseen University are closed, and the Librarian has eaten his final banana. Now they will only live again when we open the books and read about them again, now you will live again whenever those books are read. In this sense you are not truly gone, you will never be forgotten, you will forever be missed.

Farewell friend I never met. You brought me joy, sadness, and inspiration, for that, you will forever be in the library of my heart.

Publishing Announcement

What, publishing news, am I finally being published? 

Well... yes and no. I am going to be compiling all of my short stories and self publishing them. Still working on details, editing, getting some illustrations done, and even writing a few new stories... but, yeah I'm going to be putting a book out there. More news will follow when I have more details but right now I'm shooting for a June or July publication date.

Also gotta figure out a title. I suck with titles honestly. Still it's news and it's kind of exciting. 

I solemnly swear I will do this blogging thing properly this time.

Hello. It's been awhile since you and I have spoken. Or, more accurately, it's been awhile since I've written a post for you to read. The last time we spoke I was looking for a new job because I was working nights and that cut into my writing time.

Well... I'm still working nights, my writing time is still at a minimum and I have literally taken time off just to get a little writing done. Thankfully I have an understanding boss that supports me. I'm trying to stay with the same company and switch to day shift but apparently it's very difficult to find a trustworthy person that is willing and able to work night shift in a convenience store in a neighborhood that isn't the greatest. I mean it's not really a bad neighborhood but we get our share of freaks and weirdos. I'd elaborate but you'll get to meet them soon enough in upcoming works.

So what's going on with me right now? Well a lot and nothing all at the same time.

I have edited my novel... again. I'm learning that editing a book is harder than actually writing the book. I'm acquiring more rejections from query letters (thinking about sending flowers or something to the lucky agent that becomes my 100th rejection), and I have registered to attend the annual Writer's Digest Conference most importantly I am registered to attend a Pitch Slam at the same event. 

Exciting right? Well the conference isn't for about another five months. So there is plenty of time for the excitement to build and my nerves to get the better of me.

See I have a secret. I am a terminal introvert and painfully shy. I don't enjoy talking to people I don't know, I'm not a huge fan of meeting new people, and large crowds have given me panic attacks in the past. 

Now for the contradictory part. I excel in public speaking, I've worked in customer service for years and my customers usually love me and my outgoing personality. Kind of funny huh? 

So how do I have excellent customer service skills, give engaging lectures, and hide my painful social awkwardness? Well first and foremost I drive my wife nuts when the nerves start making me antsy. I love my wife because she puts up with me and my obnoxious anxiousness among other reasons. Then I usually pretend that I am speaking to the world's worst dopplegangers.

What do I mean by that? Well usually when I'm speaking to group or meeting someone new on a one on one basis I imagine that I'm basically just talking to myself. I excel at talking to myself. The thing is, nobody in the group looks like me, they don't sound like me, and they don't think like me. So they aren't very good dopplegangers. 

Why does this tactic work for me? Well it's a simple self delusion really. You see, I always want what is best for me. So by pretending that the new person, or the group, are other versions of me then I'm able to assume that they also want what is best for me. That helps calm my nerves because I'm not going to ridicule myself and if I do run into someone that doesn't like me, does ridicule me, or is simply a jerk to me... well I never said that I can't be an asshole.

Well this is getting long so time to wrap it up. I am going to make a promise to you my dear reader. I promise that for the next five months I am going to make at least one blog post a week. It may not always be on the same day, and it may not always be interesting, but I'm going to do it. 

I make this promise because I know you want to read more about me, I know I need to get better at blogging and I need to get better with social media. 

Why do I need to do this? Well, if all goes well, I will have an agent after the conference. Once I get the agent hopefully I will get a book deal, once I get the book deal I will have fans. I'm hoping to fans prior to selling the book, but I will definitely have them after. This means I need to be better at interacting with the public and my fans. I have to be willing to step outside of myself and interact with people I don't know. 

So that is my promise. We'll get cozy, get to know each other, and hopefully soon will be enjoying exciting news together. 

I'll be seeing you, and you'll be seeing more of me.