I solemnly swear I will do this blogging thing properly this time.

Hello. It's been awhile since you and I have spoken. Or, more accurately, it's been awhile since I've written a post for you to read. The last time we spoke I was looking for a new job because I was working nights and that cut into my writing time.

Well... I'm still working nights, my writing time is still at a minimum and I have literally taken time off just to get a little writing done. Thankfully I have an understanding boss that supports me. I'm trying to stay with the same company and switch to day shift but apparently it's very difficult to find a trustworthy person that is willing and able to work night shift in a convenience store in a neighborhood that isn't the greatest. I mean it's not really a bad neighborhood but we get our share of freaks and weirdos. I'd elaborate but you'll get to meet them soon enough in upcoming works.

So what's going on with me right now? Well a lot and nothing all at the same time.

I have edited my novel... again. I'm learning that editing a book is harder than actually writing the book. I'm acquiring more rejections from query letters (thinking about sending flowers or something to the lucky agent that becomes my 100th rejection), and I have registered to attend the annual Writer's Digest Conference most importantly I am registered to attend a Pitch Slam at the same event. 

Exciting right? Well the conference isn't for about another five months. So there is plenty of time for the excitement to build and my nerves to get the better of me.

See I have a secret. I am a terminal introvert and painfully shy. I don't enjoy talking to people I don't know, I'm not a huge fan of meeting new people, and large crowds have given me panic attacks in the past. 

Now for the contradictory part. I excel in public speaking, I've worked in customer service for years and my customers usually love me and my outgoing personality. Kind of funny huh? 

So how do I have excellent customer service skills, give engaging lectures, and hide my painful social awkwardness? Well first and foremost I drive my wife nuts when the nerves start making me antsy. I love my wife because she puts up with me and my obnoxious anxiousness among other reasons. Then I usually pretend that I am speaking to the world's worst dopplegangers.

What do I mean by that? Well usually when I'm speaking to group or meeting someone new on a one on one basis I imagine that I'm basically just talking to myself. I excel at talking to myself. The thing is, nobody in the group looks like me, they don't sound like me, and they don't think like me. So they aren't very good dopplegangers. 

Why does this tactic work for me? Well it's a simple self delusion really. You see, I always want what is best for me. So by pretending that the new person, or the group, are other versions of me then I'm able to assume that they also want what is best for me. That helps calm my nerves because I'm not going to ridicule myself and if I do run into someone that doesn't like me, does ridicule me, or is simply a jerk to me... well I never said that I can't be an asshole.

Well this is getting long so time to wrap it up. I am going to make a promise to you my dear reader. I promise that for the next five months I am going to make at least one blog post a week. It may not always be on the same day, and it may not always be interesting, but I'm going to do it. 

I make this promise because I know you want to read more about me, I know I need to get better at blogging and I need to get better with social media. 

Why do I need to do this? Well, if all goes well, I will have an agent after the conference. Once I get the agent hopefully I will get a book deal, once I get the book deal I will have fans. I'm hoping to fans prior to selling the book, but I will definitely have them after. This means I need to be better at interacting with the public and my fans. I have to be willing to step outside of myself and interact with people I don't know. 

So that is my promise. We'll get cozy, get to know each other, and hopefully soon will be enjoying exciting news together. 

I'll be seeing you, and you'll be seeing more of me. 

Be careful what you wish for.

Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes life smiles upon you and smacks you upside the head with the full meaning of the phrase. Many people frequently wish for more money, a big family, a better job, etc. They don't think of the possible downsides.

More money: higher taxes, people asking for loans, various other things I'm sure.

Big family: health scares, trips to the hospital, conflicting personalities, and a lot more.

Better Job: I fell into this trap. I wanted a better paying job not too long back and I got it. The problem is I work nights now, not much time left for writing. I sleep during the day, not enough sunlight. I constantly feel run down and sickly. I make more money yes, but I'm miserable doing it. So I'm back to looking for a better job.

How does this relate to writing? 

Well this comes with a big piece of advice. Before embarking on chasing that writing dream, think about it. Make sure it's what you want. The rejection game is hard. Each rejection hurts. Slowly the hurt fades but the wound is opened again every time you receive one. Form rejections suck, sometimes personal notes hurt even more. Get ready to hear the phrase "You're a good writer but I didn't fall in love with this." more times than you can count.

I think agents feel that softens the blow and sometimes it does but mostly it just hurts. If I'm a good writer, they why didn't you fall in love with it? What do you think needs changed? Why won't you work with me?

That's the big thing to remember. The agents are rejecting your work, not you personally. It's a hard separation to remember but it's the truth. They aren't rejecting you because they don't like you as a person, but for one reason or another they don't like your work enough to put their name on the line trying to sell it. 

I'm sure after you get accepted life gets better and harder in some ways. I'll let you know once I get to that point. Right now I'm still in the rejection game. I have the talent, I have the right ideas, I just haven't found the agent that agrees with me. Maybe this is the hardest hurdle to jump, I don't know yet. I do know that you need to be careful what you wish for, sometimes you'll get it. Sometimes you'll end up with nothing but faded dreams.

Great News!

Not really but hey it made a great title. I just realized that I have been shopping around my manuscript for over a year now. Isn't that crazy? I've learned a lot since then so let me share some lessons that might help you when/if you decide to write a novel and try to shop it around.

1. You will screw everything up when you first start trying to query agents. This isn't really your fault, it's just that you really don't know what you're doing, even if you think you know, you don't know. Don't Blame yourself.

2. You may think your query letter is great, but it isn't. Again this isn't really your fault. It's a little like a trial and error process. Best to do the trials with a critique group than with actual agents. No sense burning bridges you don't have to.

3. When you get pissed off don't lash out at agents on your blog. I've done this, the post has since been deleted. I would like to apologize to the agent that was the victim even though I never mentioned her name. It was unprofessional of me, and I really wasn't mad at her.

4. You will get frustrated. Chalk this up to a case of shit happens. Or look at this period as paying your dues. Accept it for what it is and move on. You don't need a coronary yet.

5. There are really great people out there. Seriously there are writing and critique communities that are just awesome. For example there is Scribophile . Use these communities. They help deal with the frustration.

Well that's it from me for now. Hopefully soon I will actually have great news.

Guess What!

You're wrong. I haven't gotten an agent yet. Did you know it could take so long to get an agent? Yeah actually it's apparently normal. Oh well I keep plugging away. I've submitted to a few that I'm actually very hopeful about so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that front.

Anyway I'm hoping to soon start a new feature here on Author's Block. If I can get some agents to participate I'm hoping to start posting some interviews here so you can get to know agents and maybe it'll help you find an agent... if you're looking. If you aren't looking well then I guess maybe it won't matter but perhaps you'll be entertained and really that's all that matters isn't it? Of course it is.

Stay tuned for further developments.

I suck at this

I assure you, I am a much better writer than I am a blogger. I don't know what it is but for some reason I just can't get myself on any type of a normal blogging schedule. Then of course life happens and the blog slips my mind until something reminds me of it and so then I have to post.

So I'm posting.

I don't really have much to write about though. I'm waiting for a twitter pitch contest to end. I'll know if I'm in the main contest tomorrow so nothing to say on that front. I'm still waiting on agents to get back to me and I'm waiting on a couple of publishers to get back to me.

Soo I'm waiting, writing, and working. I'm also going to be having surgery on the 23rd to see what exactly I did to my right wrist. I assure you I didn't slip and hit a wall.

Anyway that's what's going on right now. Thank you for allowing me to eat away... say five minutes of your life, maybe seven if you stopped to see if I was right about the five.

Been Awhile

So why has it been so long since I've blogged. The short answer is that I'm lazy, sorry. The long answer is that while I am lazy I've also been busy and have had a bit of bad luck. I injured my right wrist at work and that makes it very difficult to type much. 

That being said I am nothing if not a dedicated writer and so I have begun book two of the "Ragged Edge" series. This one is titled "Swamped" and you lucky people get an unedited, sneak peak at the first paragraph or so. Enjoy.

It's amazing how much life can change after you die. I should know. I died a year ago, I've been back for four months. My name is Sean Gryphon, I am the Phoenix. Unfortunately when the goddess Danu sent me back, she didn't give me an instruction manual. So in four months I have managed to catch quite a few things on fire, and watch my body waste away. It's only been a few months but my life has crashed around me. The woman I love found another man while I was dead. I can't blame her though, Ilsy is a wonderful woman, I rushed back to her when I rose from the ashes of my former body. It had been too long, I kept myself hidden from her, watched her and her new man, left her a note, and took back my car. I don't know why she took my car, it's mine, I only had to pay for it with my heart.

  There you go first unedited sneak peak. If you want the stats I am about 13,000 words into it. That's it I'm saying no more.

And on the agent front I'm still unsigned. That's okay though, I'm still plugging away.

First page Excerpt

Here is the first page of "Ragged Edge: Cry of the Phoenix." Enjoy.

You don't actually lay on a psychologist's couch. I mean you can if you want but usually you just sit there, face to face, with someone that's trying to understand what is going on in your head. It's intimidating the first few times, then you get use to it and sometimes, for fun, mess with the headshrinker.

I wasn't having fun. My shrink likes sounding smarter than he is. He's full of nonsense phrases like "I see" and "that seems only natural" and my personal favorite, "I understand". When he uses those phrases I want to reach out and break his nose then ask him if he still sees and understands, and how natural does it feel. I haven't done it... yet.

My shrink has me classified as “functionally deranged”, meaning I'm delusional but I'm not a danger to myself or society as a whole. He's wrong on both counts but its nice having someone I can talk to about everything. Sure, he didn't believe me when I told him what I am, and he doesn't believe some of the things I say I do, but that's not important. It's just important to have someone I can talk to about the ragged edges of my life.

Those ragged edges, everyone has them, some people notice them, and most don't. Those are the edges where the reality you think exists clashes against the edges of the reality that truly exists. Seeing shadows out of the corner of your eye, strange lights in the sky, hearing voices with no one around to produce them. Those are the edges people try to ignore, pass off as hallucinations; or mental illness. The problem however, is that they are real.

Those edges brought me to this shrink. I have friends I could've talked to but I didn't want them thinking I was nuts or worse, turn their backs on me. Doctor Johnson had become my closest confidant. I could tell him whatever I wanted with no worries about what he thought of me. Most of the time he didn't believe me anyway.